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Sunday, September 26, 2004

Retreats and Advances

The weekend is closing -- a weekend when Minneapolis made its last lunge and grasp toward summer, as the warm season (fleeting as it was), turned to face the city one more time before retreating just steps ahead of winter's arrival. The sun shone bright, the air was warm but crisp. Stepping outside and breathing the freshness brought pure pleasure.

How much more you appreciate something when it's almost gone -- like a person on their deathbed, ignored most of their life but now surrounded by adoring, loving, appreciative friends, begging them not to leave.

If only we had known what we had. Summer: We never know it's here until it's gone.

How stupid we are.

While I, along with the rest of the Twin Cities, made my last plea to summer this weekend, I also leaped out of the safety net I've surrounded myself with during the past few months.

Yes, I'm daring to date again -- with just one person in mind.

How stupid I am.

Or how foolishly scared?

But I'm determined to not let something (or someone) wonderful retreat from my life while I nurse my wounds. Summer will return, always faithful, to give another chance for us to appreciate it fully. People don't always do the same.

And I feel good about this decision to allow another person into my life. It's more rational than it has been previously. Rather than being propelled by my emotions into a relationship, I've searched myself and the "other," examining the fit like I examine cars at a dealership.

Not that a relationship is about what works on paper. It's not -- there has to be "chemistry," that zing and zang and whoosh. But looking logically at the bigger picture is a good first step, because chemistry alone doesn't make a relationship work. Over the months that we've been friends, I've come to trust and understand his motivations and personality, background and goals. We're starting not from nothing, which is different than the past.

Now, I'm ready to lower my own defenses and allow my emotions to enter. It's a no-pressure deal -- a series of steps, not an all-or-nothing commitment. It takes time, and who knows where it will go.

You know I'll keep you informed. Now get out there and go after summer with all you have.

Posted by Aaron on September 26, 2004 5:46 PM