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Friday, September 24, 2004

Saying Goodbye

Last night we had a goodbye get-together for a good friend who's moving from Minneapolis to Seattle. It's the fourth such event since early August.

My friends and I are getting good at saying farewell.

It still is strange for people to leave, though. Normally I'm the one who's packing up and moving out, nervously anticipating a new city, a new job, a whole new community.

Now I'm just anxious for my friends. I am proud that they're trying new things, leaving their comfort zones to plant their flag of independence in fresh soil. I want to see them succeed.

For me, saying goodbye is often an experience in self-denial, as I would rather not see them go. But every time, I pat them on the ass, give them a hug, and say, "I'm proud of you, and excited to see where you end up. You're making a good decision." I know how important it is to have the blessing and encouragement of your loved ones when you risk it all and try something new.

It's like going to prom and reassuring your date they look beautiful. Validation is major. Even my career, PR, relies on the power of third-party validation. It's something I don't take for granted, having been guilt-tripped many times for trying something new -- then regretting it when I gave in and didn't try for it.

I've developed a system for saying goodbye. It goes like this: Don't drag it out. Don't scream and cry. Don't make a scene out of it. Say you love them, give them a hug (a long one is OK), then leave. Don't turn around and look back. It only makes things more difficult.

I call it "the efficiency system." You can model it if you wish. In fact, I recommend it.

Posted by Aaron on September 24, 2004 11:57 AM