« Paper Trails | OK, back to home | He Ruined It »

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Monsters Under the Bed

Some of the most difficult things in life are never talked about. Disease, death, divorce, family traumas and personal downfalls are hidden from view and banished from discussion. Any sign of imperfection or weakness is ignored or denied. False storefronts of happiness and health are eaten away by termites we pretend don’t even exist.

It’s just easier that way. It saves face and trouble.

That’s how I’ve dealt with the Constitutional marriage amendments at both the federal and the state levels. I’ve largely ignored them, hoping they’ll go away. Like a child afraid of monsters under the bed, I’ve tried to tell myself they don’t exist, that everything is fine. That morning will come and everything will be right again.

But these monsters do exist. And we need to deal with them.

I need help. We need help.

This is to those of you who are uncertain of your position, or who think it doesn’t affect you or who are just putting on a smile and “hoping for the best.”

I am writing to you and asking you to do something to help.

When reading the language of these amendments, I have to blink hard and scan it several times. The language isn’t complex, but the motivation and reasoning are incomprehensible. It doesn’t fit with history.

The United States Constitution was signed more than 200 years ago. Since then, it has been amended only 17 times. Many of those amendments extended the rights and liberties of Americans. For example, women and racial minorities were given the right to vote and slavery was ended. With the exception of Prohibition (which was repealed), never has the Constitution been amended to take away or limit rights.

Until now.

I do not understand Constitutional amendments that read like this: “Only the union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota.”

I do not understand proponents of these bills when they say the amendments “protect” marriage. It doesn’t make logical sense. What are they protecting marriage from? Who are they protecting? As Outfront Minnesota writes, after the recent amendments were passed in 13 states, “not one single marriage or family was actually supported in any way.”

In other words, who benefits from this amendment? No one. I have yet to hear a single logical argument for how these amendments will make anyone’s life richer. Not one.

And who loses? Thousands. This is not an issue of marriage in a church, before an altar and a cross. It’s an issue of legal rights. When these amendments are passed, people who undeniably love each other pay a steep price:

• No guaranteed hospital visitations
• No social security benefits for spouses in same-sex partnerships
• No health insurance
• Estate taxes that are not levied on married people
• Retirement savings are not passed on after a partner dies
• No entitlement to family leave
• Since same-sex partners can’t petition for loved ones to immigrate to the U.S., families are broken up
• Same-sex couples do not have the right to live together in nursing homes
• Pension plans do not transfer to surviving spouses in same-sex partnerships

This isn’t a gay issue. It’s a human rights issue. Whether you are Christian or gay or blue collar or Republican or Democrat, you should be offended by an amendment to the Constitution — a sacred document in this country — that limits the lives of thousands of people.

These amendments are being supported by people in rural areas who don’t know any gay people. Or they know gays but are afraid to admit that they know them. Or they think these amendments are the “Christian” thing to do.

Let me say this flat out:

You know someone who is gay. Me. Are you ashamed of me?

And, this is not what God would want. It is absolutely not. Even if you believe that homosexuality is a sin, it is absolutely not right to limit the legal benefits and protections of thousands of people because of a particular set of religious beliefs. That is against the principles of this country.

There is not much I say with absolute certainty, but I do say that.

Again: We need help. Talk to your friends. Talk to your pastor. Talk to your family. Write your legislators. We need you to take a strong stand, even if it’s unpopular in your particular community.

I do not want you to change your religious beliefs or your political party, but I do want you to support me and whomever I love. Without a doubt, I would do the same for you.

——

For more info, visit the Human Rights Campaign.

Posted by Aaron on March 24, 2005 12:05 AM