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Friday, September 16, 2005

And You Thought I Was Nice

The other day I went on a date. It was pretty much a blind date, or at least the 21st century version of a blind date: Guy finds a profile I have online. Guy e-mails me, we chat for a few days, he doesn’t have a picture so it’s literally blind, he asks if I want to “hang out” at a time when I’m bored and seemingly all my friends are with their boyfriends or working or something. So I say yes.

He picks me up at a coffeeshop where I am writing and enjoying an excellent chocolate chip cookie. He is not what I pictured in my head. He is not attractive. (Disclaimer: He is not attractive to me. He quite possibly would be to you). He says where do you want to go? I, trapped, say: Let’s go to Lake Harriet for a walk. Because it’s close by and you don’t have to make eye contact when you’re walking.

And then he says, “I’ve never been to Lake Harriet.” And I, knowing he grew up in an inner ring suburb, cannot believe he has never been to one of the most popular and wonderful destinations in Minneapolis. And this is where the date really dies, because physical inattraction can shift and be more than compensated by amazing personality, but a lack of curiosity about one’s world, especially one’s immediate world, cannot be redeemed. I’m sorry. It can’t.

And so I direct him to the lake. We park as close as possible and begin walking. It’s three miles around the lake. I wonder how I’m going to make it a quick three miles. Then I realize I am wearing flip flops.

“Oh wow, I shouldn’t have worn these sandals, but I didn’t know I would be walking.”

Of course, I’ve walked around Lake Harriet many times in those exact shoes. I feel like an ass, but it’s necessary.

“We’ll have to turn around soon.”

I am proud of my ingenuity and I smile inside.

And then he says, “Maybe we should sit on this bench and talk for awhile.”

The horror.

Luckily, God loves me and the bench was wet.

After several more attempts at pausing, we returned to the car and took the most direct route back to the coffeeshop where we shook hands and I hopped out. No promise of “Next time” or “see you later.” Just “goodbye.”

I feel that this is evidence that I’m a complete dick, especially because I’m writing about it. I also feel it’s evidence that blind dates, like life, are like a box of chocolates. Fill in the rest.

Posted by Aaron on September 16, 2005 12:23 PM

Comments:

I like Chocolates. Sorry for your blind date being a dud. But atleast you have something very amusing to write about!

Damion
September 16, 2005 1:46 PM

hahahaahaha... I'm so relieved to find out that I'm not the only one who has had just awful dates like that. Isn't it amazing how one can become so intuitive and deceitful when placed in a situation like that? Well, I think it's good for us. Makes us appreciate the good dates even more.

Hang in there bud. Karma comes back around.

Jonathan
September 16, 2005 2:06 PM

You're not a dick. A date is a chance for people to meet and decide weather or not they click. You didn't click and that's that. Physical attraction is incredibly important and whoever says that it's not is probably not being honest with themselves.

rich
September 16, 2005 2:11 PM

TGIF! And It sucks that your date went crappy....oh well I am sure you will have many others you STUD! :)

Gina
September 16, 2005 2:37 PM

Haven't we ALL been in your shoes at one time or another?! It's fun to read about others experiences with dates, both good and bad. And I agree with Gina...TGIF!

rob
September 16, 2005 3:25 PM

The important thing is that you gave it a try, you didn't shy away from meeting a new person, even if it didn't go like you wanted it to. You are not a dick and I know that personally.

Brady
September 16, 2005 4:57 PM

You are a dick. But that was funny.

sam
September 16, 2005 5:20 PM

Oh god... you and me. What shitty experiences we've got going for us. *High Five* Come to Philly and we can walk around the way it's suposed to be done. Straight up!

Steven
September 16, 2005 5:55 PM

Yes, you're a bad person. And sort of a ho. :)

Jacob
September 16, 2005 10:30 PM

We've ALL been there. You're not a dick; you're human (not that there's much of a difference between the two). The other side of your blind date coin is this...two guys meet. Instant attraction (at least on your part). You proceed to date number 1 then 2 and then 3. But wait, were they actually dates? Maybe they were just two (gay) guys getting together and hanging out. How do you figure this out? Ah, a kiss. Yes, let's try a kiss and see where that goes. Oops...not dates, you realize. OUCH!

Keep at it, Aaron. He's out there, He's out there for all of us, I'm sure!

Doug
September 17, 2005 7:40 AM

You would be a dick if you told him you'd call him and didn't. Or did a typical Minnesota "I don't want to hurt his feelings so I went out with him again." Sounds like you did the all the right things. It's pretty tacky to just say "Um, I don't think you're hot or interesting, now go away." Sparing his feelings as well as politely concluding the date were both classy things to do.

Andy
September 18, 2005 1:09 PM

Ahh... Aaron. If I weren't so in love with you, I'd fly there and take you out on a date!

David
September 18, 2005 4:48 PM

the only thing worse than blind net-dates is when, months later they IM or EMAIL you "forgetting" who you were and try to strike up conversations anew. THAT is the real test of "am i dick?" because you're forced to either be polite and play aloof and busy, or say "we had a horrendous dating experience, and despite my best efforts, you've found me again."

kyle
September 18, 2005 5:54 PM

Nah, you're only a dick if you say "let's do this again" or that you'll call, with absolutely no intention of following through. You were smart and made no such promises.

Besides, we have to have bad dates to make the good ones seem better.

Ryan
September 19, 2005 11:25 AM

In this day and age.. there is no reason people shouldnt have a photo in their profiles.

djhinn
September 19, 2005 2:44 PM

It seems I'm late to join this party, but djhinn touched on what I was thinking and surprised I hadn't read yet! NEVER GO ON AN INTERNET DATE WITHOUT A PHOTO.

EVER.

As you're now very well aware, it's a very uncomfortable situation to be in.

SparklesMpls
September 19, 2005 4:49 PM

I agree with Sparkles... no internet dates without a photo... And if it's MY photo, not even then should you go! *grin*

Roger
September 24, 2005 12:23 AM

I guess he didn't have a photo for a reason.... I wish that dating wasn't so much like a part-time job; where we would sometimes have to log online to find it, then have it for a few months, days, weeks, or minutes, then quit for some 'good reason' or another.

Brandon
September 26, 2005 12:15 AM