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Monday, September 12, 2005

The Other Side of the Lake

Michigan’s Old Mackinac Point Lighthouse and Mackinac Bridge.

This bird is home again after an unprecedented 10 days away from Minneapolis. And an even more unprecedented four days away from e-mail, and generally all things related to 21st century technology.

It was a great vacation; one that is difficult to sum up succinctly. I spent the beginning of the week relaxing and doing really whatever I wanted: Getting my haircut, playing tennis, visiting family, giving my car a good waxing. For the first time in a few years I saw an ex-girlfriend from high school and met her husband. I am always surprised by the comfort of old friends, even after years without much contact and intervening changes of no small magnitude. It’s like slipping on an old and favored jacket after rediscovering it in the back corner of a closet. Maybe you gained a few pounds but you still love it.

On Thursday my family drove a few hours north to Charlevoix, a resort town in the northwest corner of lower Michigan and the location of my sister’s wedding. The waters of Lake Michigan and Lake Charlevoix and the hills and landscape remind me of the Pacific Northwest, minus the mountains plus some sand dunes. It is the type of setting perfect for romance novels. My family took up occupancy in a house set on 1,600 acres of farmland. There, my little brother thought he could get away with sneaking into his girlfriend’s bedroom at night without anyone noticing. Little did he know that I’m still immature enough to notice and tease him about it.

We spent the next couple of days preparing for the wedding on Saturday. I did manly things like arrange flowers at the church (photo), prepare the reception hall (photo), light dozens of candles (photo) and shoot guns (yep, photo).

On the morning of the wedding, my sister climbed the ladder and into my bunk bed and said, “I couldn’t sleep all night. I almost came to wake you up so we could talk.”

“I couldn’t sleep either,” I said. “I’m too nervous.”

And I was nervous. I wanted the day to be perfect for my sister, and for all the people who put so much of themselves into the preparation.

Of course, it wasn’t perfect. When my brother and I — the ushers — unrolled the aisle runner in front of hundreds of people, it stuck and we tore out the pins holding it so it went flying the air. I finished lighting my candles way before my brother, so I had to light the same one five times while he forced his shaking hands to catch up. My sister put the ring on her groom’s right hand instead of his left. The sound malfunctioned on the slideshow I prepared for the reception (watch it if you have five minutes to spare and a fast connection). But imperfections are what make things perfect and help humanize the traditions that I often feel have lost their humanity.

As with all major life milestones, the week was colored by a mix of happiness and sadness. My mom cried when she picked up the 500 dahlias from the florist, overwhelmed by the flowers’ beauty and color. My dad hid his tears during the rehearsal when it came time for Who gives this woman away? “Her mother and I.” The groom’s dad paused at length while pushing down the tears to say a prayer of blessing at the end of the ceremony. The groom wiped his eyes in return. (Surely it’s impossible to see a parent cry without shedding a tear as well.) My mom cried the morning after the wedding after all the gifts were unwrapped and the guests departed. I cried as I drove away and back toward Minneapolis.

And now I’m back in the Twin Cities, my parents are at home in Michigan and my sister is sunbathing in Cabo San Lucas. I’m glad to be back in civilization and among friends but sad to leave the part of me that is still tied to the Great Lakes state. Again with the paradoxes.

More photos: First dance (you don’t have to shave your legs for me), twins at post-event breakfast, father of the groom, Mackinac Bridge No. 2.

Posted by Aaron on September 12, 2005 3:01 PM