« Stories that Aren't From Me | OK, back to home | This is Called A "Telling Fact" »

Monday, October 24, 2005

Food

I can’t eat French onion soup, not because I don’t like the taste but because it’s ugly. Brown and thick and horrid looking.

Lately I’ve been eating veggie burgers for dinner because my imagination has been acting up when I eat meat. I have to add alfalfa sprouts on top of the veggie burger, though, to break up all that brown-ness. Sans sprouts, the bun and the burger are basically the same color. If it were a painting it would be one boring, unappealing slab of poop brown. Add a few sprouts, though, and the painting is like a Warhol painting, bright and beautiful and scrumptious.

Growing up, I ate a lot of venison. Not because I liked it but because, with a deer-stalking dad, I had to. Venison is the ugliest meat, wrinkled looking and colorless like an old woman’s boob. Sometimes I think I gagged on the ugliness.

I like my food to be pretty.

Part of the reason I like fruits and vegetables is because they add color and variety to food. They say, “Hi! I’m pretty! Eat me!” And so I happily do.

Last night I had takeout sweet and sour chicken from KinhDo. When I sat at my dining room table and opened the box of rice, I was deeply disappointed. Fried rice instead of steamed. Fried rice is brown, steamed is white. Sweet and sour sauce is brown-ish, fried chicken is brown and now fried rice is brown. An all-brown meal is too much.

But it was the only thing I had to eat, so I did.

I’m not that crazy.

Posted by Aaron on October 24, 2005 9:05 AM

Comments:

Thanks for the insight into your diet...
The look of food is important..and you are absolutley correct that food that looks like saggy body parts are not attractive.
You are always interesting.

Dan
October 24, 2005 1:15 PM

Aaron, you have an overactive imagination--lucky for us who read your posts, but unlucky for you when you eat: some of my favorite foods are repugnant to look at--seckle pears come to mind, or ripe bananas chilled in the fridge. And I take a sort of a perverse pleasure in submitting food to my co-workers on "treat" days that they've never seen--collard greens, sweet potato chips, etc. Minnesotans are so unadventurous about food I usually end up taking it all home--they won't even touch wheat-free double-chocolate cookies!

jon d
October 24, 2005 2:59 PM

Can't you just put the French Onion in a nice colorful bowl?? (Pumpkin or mustard perhaps? Some good earth tone.) Maybe if you used some colorful red onions instead of white? Come on, work with me here!

I'm with ya on the venison, but TheBestSoupEver shouldn't be shunned because of it's aesthetic challenges.

John
October 24, 2005 4:45 PM

Yeah, French Onion soup ain't that great. There are a bounty of more colorful and flavorful soups out there.

As for the "brown", if I didn't know you, I'd wonder if you have an Asberger's syndrome-related thing toward the color brown as Christopher did with yellow in "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time."

Sorry to miss ya while I was in town. NAF and SAW bought me a Jaeger bomb (which was brown)...probably not the best thing to have on a quite empty stomach. haha.

JJC
October 24, 2005 5:54 PM

I agree too much brown is a sign that you're not eating something that is good for you. Meals should have lots of color.

Adam
October 24, 2005 8:13 PM

Oh! Shades of Grandma Phyl!!

Sandra
October 24, 2005 8:46 PM

Next time you're in Vera's, I'll be sure and keep all brown ingredients from whatever I serve...

The Rog
October 24, 2005 10:12 PM

Venison always smelled like urine to me. Maybe it's the mid-Michigan deer. (More likely that they eat field grain instead of greens, but now I'm sounding like a hick.)

But give me a stick of venison jerky any day.

Byf
October 25, 2005 12:02 AM

So Aaron likes his food like he likes his men, pretty and screaming "eat me!"

Well, here I have to side with Jon D. Midwesterners have it all wrong about foods. Eating is an adventurous endeavor, or at least it should be. Feeding your face with the same tame fare day after day makes a body pissy and dull. Some of the very best foods are ugly and/or brown (e.g., fudge, chocolate, molasses/gingerbread cookies, mushrooms, and more). The only reason your french onion soup is brown is because the onions have been caramelized with care to their sweetest, most heavenly state before being added to the broth.

Frankly, I have no patience for this sort of thoughtless discrimination, Aaron. Someday your tastebuds will cry out mournfully for more brown; I'll be waiting.

Matty
October 25, 2005 6:49 AM

You crack me up!!

Smitty
October 25, 2005 9:28 AM

Aaron, you have the weirdest thoughts sometimes! :) It makes me laugh. You need to remember though that just because some food looks nasty dosen't mean it is gross. Take guacamole for example....
It looks like someone had a bad case of the poopies and it was green, but it is sooooooo good. :)

Gina
October 25, 2005 11:21 AM

I think you are being a little rediculous. Although I am not one to argue about more color in food. In fact today at the grocery store I bought a red pepper instead of a green one to add some color. However I doubt I would NOT each something because of its color but then again I am kind of a garbage dump when it comes to eating food.

A2
October 26, 2005 6:31 AM

I recall my sister caring a great deal about the presentation of food when she was pregnant.

Maybe you're pregnant too?

As for Tales of the City, I thought it was a bit over-hyped too. But I suggest you continue reading the sequels. They get better.

haris
October 27, 2005 12:53 PM

I would just like to point out that Matty is color blind. He thinks that all food is brown. Everything red or green looks brown to him. I buy silver or gold paper at Christmas time because he thinks the traditional red and green Christmas wrap looks brown. Anyway, just thought I'd share, because Matty's post was all high and mighty like.

Matty's big sister
October 27, 2005 6:10 PM