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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

When Walls Fall

What happened immediately after the Berlin Wall fell in 1990, nearly 30 years after its construction? Three decades of separation, of sizing up an impenetrable wall, of resignation to a life constrained to only one half of a city, and then, at least as seen by my nine-year-old eyes, the wall was suddenly gone, reduced to rubble.

Did a gleeful people run with shouts over the rocks that once were the wall? Did they charge headlong into the other half? Or did they tiptoe up to the edge and peer into the other side, afraid that their eyes were deceiving them? I don’t remember this in the television coverage.

I’m quite sure that I would have the latter reaction. Look first, step second, size up this new reality slowly while letting the previous reality and its hurts fade with time.

People like to say that the bad things are hard to accept, but some times I wonder if it’s not the good things that are the most difficult.

Posted by Aaron on November 23, 2005 1:07 PM

Comments:

Interesting. I think that change in general is difficult to accept, and its tough to label most changes good or bad while they're happening, or even long after they've happened.

My grandmother, for example, couldn't decide whether the creation of Pakistan was a good thing for her, personally, after over 50 years. She never really posed the question directly, but she used to constantly talk to me (or herself) about related issues, leaving her Indian family behind, her new country, etc. while I was snuggled with her at night. In one of her retrospectives, she talked about how that the creation of Pakistan meant unprecendented freedom (akin to walls falling down) for many muslims. But she also said that a circumscribed existence is both safe and stifling at the same time. "Freedom" can mean the end of both, and that can be scary.

Long post, sorry.

Haris
November 23, 2005 2:04 PM

Great post. And, Haris, thanks for yours too.

I think it's especially right that after a period of hardship, years and decades, it is incredibly difficult to accept something that is good as true or reliable.

Aaron, your declaration that you would be one of those tiptoeing the line reflects what a lot of us feel ('us' being gay men). I know of so many men who struggle with all their might to silence the fearful cynic inside when something good tries to happen for them. I think those who succeed are in the minority, unfortunately, but in the interest of maintaining appropriately high holiday spirits, I'll rely on an adage (slightly changed so I can actually believe what I write) to finish up. Time heals many wounds, mostly.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Matty
November 24, 2005 8:51 AM

This kind of reminds me of another saying. To pair-a-fraze:

It isn't the thought that we might fail that scares most people.
It's the thought that we might be wildly successful and powerful beyond our imaginings that keeps us awake at night.

John
November 28, 2005 12:54 PM