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Sunday, September 24, 2006

Mirrored

There are very few moments that we cannot experience through technology. From our living rooms we can go on wild African safaris or deep-sea diving or high mountain climbing. Sometimes I feel like there are no more surprises left, which is one of the worst thoughts ever.

But this is one moment that can only be experienced in person. The moon makes shattered mirrors out of the Wisconsin lake and the wind blows in the first gusts of autumn. The dark outline of the trees blends with the water blends with the sky, a monochromatic seamless mix of subtle luminosities. It is comforting to realize that no camera can capture this moment of flirting darkness and light. It takes a naked eye to see this, and something else to appreciate it.

I turn up the collar, pull my thin cotton jacket closer around my body and cross my legs on the cold and floating dock. It rocks softly and the water thumps underneath me. The moonlight sparkles gently, like a child’s nightlight. I close my eyes and throw last week’s heartaches and last month’s troubles into the water. Greg and I broke up… it was months in the making. I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life. I felt beaten down and depressed.

But this moonlight…

It soothes and restores as it takes me out of myself and directs my attention elsewhere. It reminds me that my troubles are small and the world is large and beautiful. It puts on a show that awes, but it doesn’t need me there to cheer it on. It has nothing to prove or to earn. It is graceful. It is beautiful just because it is. Which reminds me that, yes, despite all of this, so am I. So am I.

Posted by Aaron on September 24, 2006 10:57 PM