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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Dear Democratic (big D) organizations

We’re quickly moving toward a large event in early November. I’m planning to take the following day off work to celebrate or mourn, and I would prefer it be the former.

Can we talk? Can we fix some things?

1) I’m spying an increase in negative advertising. This disappoints me because it means that you believe your positive messages aren’t strong enough to overcome negative ones from the grand ol’ party. Instead of advancing what we’ve come to believe in — hope, change, free Big Macs for all — you’re bombarding us with slander and soap operas. E-mail subject lines like “Hit him where it hurts” and constant expressions of SHOCK and OUTRAGE over these PHONY LIES (does that mean it’s true?) are demeaning.

2) Can we maybe combine some organizations and causes and extend just one hand that asks for money? And maybe not every day? You’re breaking me.

3) Is it too late to replace Biden with Michelle? Biden is fine, though a little too “used car salesman” with his hand gestures and winks and slicked-back gray hair (is that for real?). Michelle…. she’s hot.

Thank you.

Aaron

Posted by Aaron on September 10, 2008 12:28 PM